Spicy Mussels in White "Wine"

Thats the second bottle of wine opened, I needed close to three cups for all these suckas

Mussels in Spicy White Wine

Take an entire head of garlic and coarsely mince.  Mince two jalapeno peppers with seeds.  Mince 1/2 of an onion.  Saute on very low for 10 minutes in, seriously, like 6-8+ T of extra light olive oil.*  Grind lots of pepper into the mix, and add 5 huge pinches of salt (yes we are going to over compensate for something here).  After ten plus minutes of super low simmering, slowly add in 3+ cups of white wine (I use the Two Buck Chuck Chardonnay).  This means: pour in 1/2 a cup, bring to simmer, etc.  Once all wine is bubbling, crank the heat up to medium high and cover.  Boil hard for 5 minutes. 

Meanwhile, clean and de-beard/shave 6+ pounds of mussels.  I can't say this enough: buy fresh fresh fresh mussels.  Mine weren't that fresh, but they were still alive.  This turns out to be quite gross since mussels are very much like you and I: eat, sleep, reproduce.  The thing is that we forget what else fills the gaps in between eat and sleep: poop.  So anyway, buy em fresh and eat them before they have a chance to digest anything.  Fill in your own blanks here.

Anyway, throw those puppies into the mix and bring back to a fast steaming flow.  It took almost 6 minutes for mine to do this.  Then cook them for 3+ minutes, covered.  Stir and baste, and finish for three more minutes.  Garnish with minced parsley. 

Enlist roommate to help eat three pounds of this stuff.  I will say that having 3 pounds of shellfish to eat is great since when you go out to eat you normally get 1p.  And! I think 6+p at home cost less than 2p at a restaurant. 

That is a ton of shell fish.

* Extra light olive oil is one of my new experiments in culinary musings.  The trouble with extra virgin, full flavored, olive oils is that they are full flavored!  That flavor kinda sucks when you try to swap out the fairly flavorless, but succulently delicious, animal fats.  These would be found in milks, butters, meats, etc.  Think about what fat tastes like?  What words do you use to describe it?  Rich?  I would say rich or creamy (which incidentally means that I associate high fat foods with cream, and have created a false causality scenario in my mind).  I would never say "Like fresh green olive pressings."  So since extra light olive oil can be added to almost anything (including my veggie drinks) and is fairly flavorless but imparts that wonderful "rich" taste to whatever I put it on, it is proving to be an awesome addition to the kitchen.  Seriously awesome.