Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Spicy Mussels in White "Wine"

Thats the second bottle of wine opened, I needed close to three cups for all these suckas

Mussels in Spicy White Wine

Take an entire head of garlic and coarsely mince.  Mince two jalapeno peppers with seeds.  Mince 1/2 of an onion.  Saute on very low for 10 minutes in, seriously, like 6-8+ T of extra light olive oil.*  Grind lots of pepper into the mix, and add 5 huge pinches of salt (yes we are going to over compensate for something here).  After ten plus minutes of super low simmering, slowly add in 3+ cups of white wine (I use the Two Buck Chuck Chardonnay).  This means: pour in 1/2 a cup, bring to simmer, etc.  Once all wine is bubbling, crank the heat up to medium high and cover.  Boil hard for 5 minutes. 

Meanwhile, clean and de-beard/shave 6+ pounds of mussels.  I can't say this enough: buy fresh fresh fresh mussels.  Mine weren't that fresh, but they were still alive.  This turns out to be quite gross since mussels are very much like you and I: eat, sleep, reproduce.  The thing is that we forget what else fills the gaps in between eat and sleep: poop.  So anyway, buy em fresh and eat them before they have a chance to digest anything.  Fill in your own blanks here.

Anyway, throw those puppies into the mix and bring back to a fast steaming flow.  It took almost 6 minutes for mine to do this.  Then cook them for 3+ minutes, covered.  Stir and baste, and finish for three more minutes.  Garnish with minced parsley. 

Enlist roommate to help eat three pounds of this stuff.  I will say that having 3 pounds of shellfish to eat is great since when you go out to eat you normally get 1p.  And! I think 6+p at home cost less than 2p at a restaurant. 

That is a ton of shell fish.

* Extra light olive oil is one of my new experiments in culinary musings.  The trouble with extra virgin, full flavored, olive oils is that they are full flavored!  That flavor kinda sucks when you try to swap out the fairly flavorless, but succulently delicious, animal fats.  These would be found in milks, butters, meats, etc.  Think about what fat tastes like?  What words do you use to describe it?  Rich?  I would say rich or creamy (which incidentally means that I associate high fat foods with cream, and have created a false causality scenario in my mind).  I would never say "Like fresh green olive pressings."  So since extra light olive oil can be added to almost anything (including my veggie drinks) and is fairly flavorless but imparts that wonderful "rich" taste to whatever I put it on, it is proving to be an awesome addition to the kitchen.  Seriously awesome.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Carrot and Banana Frozen Dessert

I have a real problem calling this iced cream, but it was bomb

Another great use of the blender here.  Add 3-4 frozen bananas, 3 carrots, and a cup of heavy coconut cream to the blender and blend (add ice if you have any, I had like 3 cubes).  I put in a lot of protien powder too.  After blending, I froze this and then scooped it out.  This is easily the fisrt paloe/almost paleo dessert that I would give to a girl to impress her.  Its not as creamy as iced cream, but just absolutely delicious.

Non-Corn Fed Chicken

Love that jalapeno and cilantro mayo

Nothing much here, just reporting on the chicken itself (this was just a little Pappy's on the grill).  It taste like chicken, its a little smaller than normal chickens.  It reminds me of the chickens I was buying when I was living in Italy.  It was good enough, that I would probably switch to these higher quality birds if I had access to them all the time.

Shrimp, Jalapeno, and Olives

Deveining shrimp is great because the shrimp always look more delicious

This one freaked me out so much, that I actually got the ingredients out and then put them back because I was sure it was way to bizarre to be good.  I then, second guessed my second guess and went full speed ahead.

Mince smash 7 cloves of garlic and add to a lot of olive oil, ground pepper, and a T of freshly minced ginger root.  Saute on low for a long time.  Cut the tops off of three jalapenos and remove center seeds.  Cut all jalapenos into rings, and add to pot with one thinly sliced onion.  Add a can of drained whole medium black olives.  Season with salt and pepper.  Add a can of tomato sauce and bring to bubbling.  After deveining about 30 fairly large shrimp (like 1.33 pounds), toss those in and cook for about 6 minutes, covered.  Adjust pepper and eat.

This was way better than going to a restaurant because it was just a ton of shrimp with delicious sauce.  Jalapeno, olive, ginger with onions and shrimp?  Whatever works...

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Regionals Update: Hotel

Westin in Costa Mesa
FIY,

Kat, Lieb and I will be staying here:


It is a seemingly dope Westin Hotel with a fairly legit pool/spa area, a resuarant, breakfast, and a bar (Kat and I both thought that was an important selling point).  It wasn't the cheapest option out there, but with all the easy benefits I believe it was worth it.  I booked 2 queens if anyone wants to double up and save some cash.

Its a couple miles away from UCI (looks like about 2-3), but totally looks like the drive is worth it.

Let me know...

Adjust

Its hard to tell from this picutre, but these little flowers by my house: open in the morning, close in the evening, and track the sun through out the day

I went through a physical assessment with CJ today and it was extremely enlightening.  I do not want to say too much about it, as it was clearly an extremely complex (and I can tell, extremely useful) exercise in athlete evaluation (while still in the beta test mode).  You see, profiling and trends are a real part of the science of anything.  If I can measure X and Y in every top athlete, and measure Z and AA in every one who sucks, maybe I can learn something from X and Y, and Z and AA. 

That is all scientific and well and good and yada yada yada.  But the beauty is that by specifically identifying imbalance, deficiency, over compensation, it will allow for a certain amount of corrective action.  A little supplementation.  We can expose weakness and adjust.

In psychology, adjustment means the behavioural process of balancing conflicting needs, or needs against obstacles in the environment. Humans and animals regularly do this, for example, when they are stimulated by their physiological state to seek food, they eat (if possible) to reduce their hunger and thus adjust to the hunger stimulus. Adjustment disorder occurs when there is an inability to make a normal adjustment to some need or stress in the environment.

Please read more at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adjust

Monday, April 19, 2010

Sardines in Tomato Sauce

Bait made delicious

I personally think the saltier the fish, the more delicious it is.  Sardines are kinda salty, but I gave these 21 sardines a good salt rub down anyway.  Also, why is there such a stigma against bait fish?  These pups are chalked full of good stuff, and they're delicious.

Okay, so the only thing I do not like about sardines is eating their guts, which makes me want to gag, becuase that means you are for sure eating something in the stages of shit formation, up to and including shit.  So, I just ran these guys under a steady stream of water, busted through their chest with my thumbs and pulled out the guts.  Then, I covered them with salt and fresh cracked pepper (kinda a lot of salt) and grilled them for about 6 minutes per side so they were crispy. 

The sauce I made was a bastard tomato sauce, with mexican flavors, to mimic the mexican canned sardines in town.  I took a whole pasilla pepper, jalapeno, 4 garlic cloves, 1 stalk of celery, one (lamentable) can of tomato sauce (I should have had four tomatoes on hand), and 2t cayenne pepper with some olive oil and threw that into the blender and blended.  I heated it up on the stove for as long as the sardines cooked.

Cover and garnish with cilantro.  I really enjoy this, chances are you would throw it up over the balcony after a shot of Sailor Jerry's.

V. 3 of 3. Paleo Hot Wing Style Cornish Hens

This is the final cornish hen recipe of the three.  This was fun.

So, we finally come to the end of the cornish hen road.  This is simple and delicious: cut the birds in half and coat in delicious Pappy's Choice rub.  Grill to perfection, and then toss with home made hot wing sauce (previously posted) and a very small amount of fish sauce.  The fish sauce is a fermented sauce and steps in for my traditional usage of soy sauce (which we now do not use becuase of the soy).  This tastes like my world famous red chicken, and that was what I was going for, and it is great to achieve it paleo style!

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Hot Wing Sauce

The Rorschach inkblot test of paleo cooking: what do you see?

One of the beautiful things about the new blender is that I can make virtually anything now, and here is some more proof.  I took about 10 red jalapenos, cut the tops off, and 12oz of plain vinegar, and blended those suckas for a little bit.  I took an amount of cheese cloth and folded it over 4 times and poured the mixture through it to remove the solids.  And that is it, your own home made hot wing sauce, and it took less than 5 minutes to make.

Jalapeno and Cilantro Mayo

I made this to eat with artichokes after my guy Mitch said he loved artichokes

Simple: three room temperature egg yolks, 3/2t ground mustard, juice of a lemon, 1 green jalapeno (seeds, no stem), three of four sprigs of cilantro, a little salt and pepper, a cup of extra light olive oil, blended to perfection.  It was addictive as a dip for the 'chokes.

Friday, April 16, 2010

The Breakfast Lasagne

This one effs with your senses since you can't tell what you are tasting, its cool

Every 15-16 weeks I am asked to bring bagels to the office on a Friday morning for about 15-16 people.  Now, as far as I know, I am the only one in the group to create and maintain a highly unsuccessful food blog (read as, I spend tons of time to make it, and make no money from it = unsuccessful), so there is always a huge amount of pressure to step up to the plate.  I like to think that I do, and this was very well received.  Lots going on here.

The idea behind this dish, is that, well, I effing love lasagne, but because of the pasta and cheese, its hard to call it even close to paleo.  So what to do?  Ditch the pasta, keep an amount of dairy, and make it for breakfast.  The challenges?  Eggs, taste, texture, look, plating, planning, cooking, creating.  The reward? Eating.

Come with me on a journey...

The Prep
I'll try to walk you through the fundamentals of this dish too, when I can. Basically, what we need to understand is what traditional lasagne tastes like: delicious sauce, mixed with delicious meat, mixed with delicious cheese, mixed with baked texture goodness.  Now the challenge: what makes those things delicious?

Spinach: blanch a head or two of it, depending on how much you are making: boiling water, two minutes in, rinse in cold water.  Save. 

Grass fed ground beef: saute 3 pounds in spicy olive oil, sage, thyme, basil, oregano, minced garlic cloves, salt and pepper to taste on every single ingredient.  Cool to room temperature. 

The Sauce: blend for 6 minutes (until piping hot) two organic orange carrots (these are kinda small), half of one stalk of celery, like 6-8 tomatoes, two cloves garlic, a pinch of salt, lots of ground pepper, and a pinch of crushed red pepper, a little water too, and a pinch of thyme and sage.  It will be piping hot when done, so cool and then re-blend.  This tastes nasty by itself, so do not use it for any other application.  Read the caption of the photo, this is part of the mind fuck that the blender can do. 

Potatoes: slice about 5 russet potatoes thinly (using a lame electric slicer), parboil for 10 minutes, drain and cool.

Cheeses: buy a pound each of full fat ricotta, Parmesan, and mozzarella, shredded to save time, high quality to save your life.

Eggs: Beat 18 eggs until smooth, and then add 2 cups of full fat milk, and re-beat.

Tomatoes: Slice 6 tomatoes ATAP (as thinly as possible, buy hand so they have some thickness)

You have to time these steps appropriately.  You want your potatoes done before your beef, long enough so that the potatoes are warm and you can handle them, and the beef is hot enough so the fat is still rolling around.

The Assembly
Okay, so here is where the step by step instructions might break down for a lot of people. First things first: we have multiple stages of assembly to make this dish fantastic, and not just 'fine'.  Second: there are timed stages of cooling that we must pay attention too.  Third, do not second guess your instincts, unless your instincts contradict this recipe.

Step 1: Place a layer of potatoes on the pans (mine were a 3" deep 12" x 12", and a 3" x 10" x 18").  My potatoes were falling apart to a great extent, so they turned into like a firm mash.

Step 2: Evenly spread still super runny ground beef and equally distribute the fat over the potatoes.

Step 3:  Let all that shit cool down to room temperature.

Step 4:  Now, spread your ricotta over the beef, cover in  half of the Parmesan cheese, pour about half the sauce over pans.  Spread spinach over the bed of deliciousness.  Add another layers of potatoes.  Cover with half the mozzarella. 

Step 5: Pour the eggs and milk mixture over that evenly. Cover with the rest of the sauce, evenly.

Step 6: Cover in the other half of the mozzarella, and then top with sliced tomatoes, garnish with fresh cracked pepper.

The Bake
I did 350F for 1h 15min, 15min at 375F.  Remove, cover, and sit for 15 minutes.  It was still bubbling.

The Reward
Shit tasted like a fucking proper lasagne.  Cheesy, saucy, meaty, pasta-ee, delicious. Cut like a fucking lasagne too.  I even heard things like: "The pasta is perfect.", "It tastes exactly like lasagne, but there is no sauce."  "This is like the Italian breakfast burrito." "This is really good." "He had three pieces..."

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Meet Meat

Grass Fed, Local, Do-able.  Try it.

Beet Jerky

Psych!  Its really beet chips!  Vegetarian Beet Jerky!  Lame!

Generally, vegetarianism is lame, these jokes are also lame.  Beet Jerky?  Especially lame.  These beet chips were actually passable.  My V1.0 Guest Creationist told me that she loves to make beet chips with vinegar and salt.  Okay, lets see it!  Here is thinly sliced (3 beets = 5 trays on a dehydrator) beets with rice vinegar and salt and pepper.  Dehydrating at 135F for an undetermined period of time. 

This is fun if you need to fake a cut hand at work and then send it to your boss via iPhone.  Or if you want to trip out on the rings of a freaking beet.   Your choice.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Beet and Chocolate BBQ Sauce

Watch out for weird shit like this...

Puree a beet somehow (like with a little water and a slick $450 blender, raw), and add 1T cocoa powder, 1T red wine vinegar, 1t ground mustard, 1t crushed red pepper, 1t olive oil, and salt and peper to taste.  Trust me, this is not a sauce that I would recommend an amature try to pair with something.  After making it I had a mini moment of "Its fuck or walk" time: I told myself to save this sauce through my hens.

Mission accomplished.  Keep reading...

Cornish Hens V. 2.0 of 3.0: The Grilled Beet

If you see this on a menu someplace, try it

I honestly do not know why I am still an engineer.  I'm clearly better at this than that.  This is the unlocked brain I've been talking about since The Blender.

Take two cornish rock hens, halve, and rub in 2 parts rosemary, 2 parts thyme, 1 part salt and 1 part pepper that was ground in a mortar and pestle.  Cook for about 15 minutes aside on a grill basting once per side with previously posted beet chocolate bbq sauce.  Sear.  Serve with some delish squashes.

I am shocked by the flavor combinations, this is truly inspired. 

Yes, it really was that purple (oh, beets stain everything, clean that shit up ASAP and don't wear white).

Custom Made Grilled Squashes

Squashes are a super summer veggie, and its getting sunny here

Super simple, and I do not mean to insult anyone's intellegence, but do not neglect the herb rubbed grilled veggies.  Using lame things like Mrs. Dash or other lame blended products is fine in a pinch (like when you are at the lake and realize no one thought this one through), but it is way better to selectively choose your flavors while making memorable meals. 

Grind 2 parts rosemary, 2 parts thyme, 1 part salt and 1 part pepper in a mortar and pestle.  Cut two each of summer squash (aka yellow, aka crookneck, aka...) and zucchini (aka....huh...) into fairly large strips.  Coat in spicy olive oil and then rub them up.  Grill for about 7.5 minutes per side, or until you get the tenderness you so desire.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Thai Butternut Squash Soup

When will the blender no longer dominate my life?

Bake a butternut squash soup (slice in half, de-seed, coat in oil, bake face down on pan at 350-400F for 35-40 min) and cool.  Saute one whole minced onion and garlic with a 1/2t of both ground lemongrass and ghangel.  Create some Brandon's Paleo Broth (1t celery salt, 2c water, 2 bay leaves and some black pepper, simmer.  This is my world famous, MSG free alternative to canned chicken broth).  Add butternut squash to pan (or blender) and combine with broth, onions.  Add a half can of coconut milk, 2t fish sauce, simmer for a while and blend or simmer smooth.  I just garnished this with cilantro and green onions, but it needed more. 

For example, this really should be turned into a stew with some pad thai style bbq'd chicken served underneath it, or with carrots, onions and potatoes in a curry.  So this soup is the right flavor, but the wrong application.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Loving the Recovery Shake

Again, I hate to make this into some lame blending blog, but hear me out

So, post-WOD fuel talks often surround around replenishing glycogen, building muscles with branched chain amino acids and whey protein, and proper hydration.  One aspect that is super hard to address is the acidic blood levels that arise after smoking yourself on a work out.  This blender finds that solution.  Throw tons of greens into your post-WOD drink and you are gravy.

I have only had a couple of chances to test this, but it seems to work well.  And it makes perfect sense: add hugely alkaline veggies to offset your lactic acid in your muscles.  Throw kale, protein, and carbs together and you have a complete package.  You can feel the rejuvenation within 15 minutes.  It is incredible.  I do not think it is psychological.  I think it is real and profound.

This (blender) has unlocked something in my brain.  And I am fighting to hold it back, but at least you all can learn from my obsessions.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

The Green Jerky

The jerky doesnt really turn green, but the marinade is green as shit.  This blender will ruin my blog, I need to watch it.

Blend a
pasallia chili
2T tamarind
2oz apple cider vinegar
1/t cumin
1t cayenne
1/2t garlic
salt and pepper TT
water

Dehydrate for oer 4.5 hrs.

Strawberry Balsamic Dressing

I'm breaking this Vita-Mix in, I need to bust the basics out.
Take:
  • 4T Olive Oil
  • 1.67T Balsamic
  • 2 Strawberries
  • 1/2t dried basil
  • Salt and pepper to taste
Blend slowly into dressing.  Its good.

Spicy Garlic Aioli

This is basically an amazing mayonnaise recipe

Take three egg yolks (room temperature), 1/4t ground mustard, the juice of a whole lemon, 1t salt, some fresh cracked pepper, and blend briefly.  Add four cloves garlic and a 1/2t crushed red pepper.  Slowly add light olive oil while blending and stop once set. 

This is so effing delicious, I with I would eat sandwiches.

Cornish Rock Hens, Version 1 of 3

Version 1.0 Italian Seasoning, baked, and served with re-donk Spicy Garlic Aioli

There will be three different Cornish Hen Recipes, as I bought 3 pairs of these guys.  These are called "Cornish Rock Hens", as opposed to Cornish Game Hens.  Mine are most certainly a GM hybrid with conventional chickens grown on factory farms, and that is why they were so effing cheap (and frozen).

Italian Seasoning: 1t rosemary, 1/2t sage, basil, oregano, 1t thyme, 1t salt, some pepper.  Cut the hens in half, rub with this shit, drizzle in spicy oil, bake at 350 for 40 minutes, serve with spicy garlic aioli.  It is awesome.

I was going to grill this, but I ran out of propane!  Maybe V2.0 can be grilled.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Kale Pear Strawberry and Whey


I promise not to turn this into some silly jucing blog, but this is my first attempt

I just bought the Vita-Mix blender (this piece of equipment retails at $450), and I can't wait to unlock the potential of it.  Here is my first post-WOD drink:
  • 1/2 bunch of raw Kale
  • 1 Pear (w/ core)
  • 7 Strawberries (w/ stems)
  • 3 Huge spoonfuls of protien powder (I was aiming for 40g protien)
  • 1 Cup of ice
  • 1 Cup of water
Blend smooth (only do this with a super powerful blender, the kale will mess you up).  That doesn't really seem like a huge amount of food to eat, but I can hardly finish this drink it is so filling.  Its pretty decent tasting too, but protien powder kinda sucks.

Tomatillo Sauce

A Classic, brought to you by guest Creationist Dave G

Saute two minced jalapenos with two cloves garlic.  Add a diced yellow onion and saute until transulcent.  Add two pounds of whole tomatillos (husks removed) and enough water to cover the bottom of the pan.  Heat slowly until the tomatillos burst.  Add 2T of apple cider vinegar and simmer for about 10 minutes.  Season with salt and pepper.  Cool and blend smooth.  Add a bunch of minced cilantro.  Re-season and serve with anything Mexican.

Dave did a great job with this.

Red Wine Vinegar and Venison

This is delicious

Very simple, very delicious.  Mince up a couple cloves of garlic, and dice and onion.  Saute with lot and lots of olive oil (the venison has virtually no fat) and crushed red pepper.  Cook about a pound of ground venison in the same pan, and season to taste.  Add, like 8-10 cups of spinach and about 2T of red wine vinegar, cover and cook.  Crack some more pepper and enjoy!