Spicy Mustard Snapper

Post filthy 50 meal.  It was awesome.

Ah, more snapper.  Watch out for another recipe after dinner.  The snapper rub is simply ground mustard, salt, and pepper.  Cook in olive oil, three minutes on one side, flip for two more minutes.  To make the sauce simply mix Louisiana style hot sauce with dijon mustard (a little more mustard than hot sauce).  I served with with 1/2 of a bacon avocado, a sliced up tomato and some cilantro.  It was re-donk.

Dandelion Salad

Dandelion greens are kinda lemony and grow in the park at the top of Day Road

Watch out for dirt on the dandelion greens.  Though they do grow wild, I got these at the farmer's market, and they are cheap as weeds should be.  I diced up a tomato, very thinly sliced half of a shallot, added a scant pinch of minced cilantro , and then tossed with with 6T of toasted sesame dressing, salt and pepper to taste.  Very nice. 

Lemongrass Red Snapper

Lawn Clipping Salad with Snapper

Crush two cloves of garlic and saute them in olive oil with lemongrass, black pepper and a small amount of red pepper.  Rinse and pat dry two snapper fillets (there are cheap, domestic wild caught snapper on sale right now).  Coat with salt, pepper and more lemongrass powder.  Cook for three minutes on the first side, and two minutes on the second side.  Serve with wedge of lemon and dandelion green salad.

Couldn't Do It

I went to CFV and was so fucked up from drugs that I couldn't do the WOD.  I'm over it.  Fuck meds, I'll live with pain and keep doing XFit, sans meds.

Jerk Progression #5
2x3 Back high jerk
3x3 Front high jerk
6x3 Push Press
6x3 Back push jerk

WOD
DNA (Did not attempt) - pre-puke med induced bull shit.

Short Ribs Braised in Balsamic and Tomatoes with Cloves

Finally a new, original paleo recipe that comes out of nowhere!  When I lived in Milano, Italia I was broke as shit.  I was eating canned lentils, tomatoes, and dried pasta seriously 5 times per week.  My protein cravings were through the roof, but I had no money, so when I had two euros to spare I bought as much protein as possible.  People living in the USA have no idea what meat actually costs (we have huge CAFO farms, massively subsidised commodities, etc.), so when I saw things like short ribs on sale I jumped at it.  They sold these ribs at about 2 euro/kilo so I bought a ton of them when I could afford them.

This recipe is a gem and worth trying.

Short Ribs Braised in Balsamic and Tomatoes with Cloves

Rub 3p+ of short beef ribs with lots of salt, pepper, and lots of dried oregano.

Grill them briefly, like 7+ minutes per side on a medium grill.  This is a timing move on my part.  A better move is to pan sear the ribs.  Meanwhile, saute 6 semi-crushed cloves of garlic (pounded to remove skin, but not cut up), one minced medium onion, and 1/2T full cloves in a copious amount of olive oil with salt and pepper to taste (fuck, be careful! there is salt all over your grilled ribs). Once translucent, add a 28 oz can of whole tomatoes (which I cut up), 4T of balsamic vinegar, a 1/2t celery salt, some supplemental water, and bring to boil.  Add ribs.  Simmer slowly for as long as possible.  I'm at 1.5h +, so far so much better.

Addendum:  You can taste cloves, expect that when pairing this dish with anything else (wines, desserts, etc.)

Double Addendum:  I've been eating this as left overs, and I can tell you that this silly little recipe is fucking awesome.  If you went to a fancy Italian restaurant they may still use these gnarly pieces of cheap meat, but I bet they go with higher quality and serve it with a basil and tomato salad, or a clove and cinnamon flavored pumpkin/ butternut squash soup (with lemongrass infused olive oil floaters), chianti, and a spiced dessert. 

Hobo Paleo Hot Wings

I was at the grocery today after Globo and realized that I haven't made spicy wings since I started this blog, and that is actually quite odd, since that was a signature dish of mine.  I was literally famous (depends on the definition of 'famous') on two continents and well over four counties for my "Red Chicken."  BBQ?  Brandon, make the red chicken.  Wedding?  Brandon, make the red chicken.  Graduation?  Shut up Brandon and make the red chicken.  Seriously, it is easily the dish that I am known best for, and I don't think it has even crossed my mind since I started this paleo nonsense.  I'll give you the original and the knock off paleo first attempt (way off base, btw).

The Red Chicken
Take about 6-10p of cut up chicken (wings, or otherwise), and cover it with something called Pappy's Choice Seasoning (http://www.pappyschoice.com/), the Santa Maria style.  [Aside: Jesus, I just checked their website and they are selling that shit for $17/ 32oz.  I was paying $3.35 for that same thing at Costco, FYI.]  It is out of control good on seriously anything.  We did a Thanksgiving Turkey with it.  It is super forgiving and everyone has success with it, and if my memory serves me, is pretty natural (its like seasoned salt).  Cook chicken on a grill till crispy.  Toss with about 5:1 cayenne pepper sauce (Louisiana hot sauce: cayenne pepper, distilled vinegar, salt only) to soy sauce, or worcestershire sauce. 

I never understood what made it work, but it always worked.  Tailgates, bachelor parties (two), super bowls, fourth of julys, and seriously once a week for years and years.  I can't believe I haven't tried to make this yet.

Hobo Paleo Hot Wings
Coat the wings with salt and very coarsely ground pepper, lots of it.  Grill the wings crispy.  Toss with red pepper sauce, dehydrated onions (take it easy on these, or grind them into a powder), granulated garlic, pepper, dijion mustard, and apple cider vinegar mixed together.  The first word that came to mind when I tasted it was 'cute.'  They are good enough to impress novice wing eaters, like the BW3 crowd, but my dehydrated onions sucked the life out of my sauce.  I could eat 3/2 - 2 dozen in about two rounds.  I used to eat 5 dozen of the red ones in one sitting.

Heavy on the Sage Meatball Soup Featuring A Guest Cook!

HOTSMS - By Guest Creationist Stephanie Merino

Last Wednesday Steph took my veggie box off my hands, as I ordered it three weeks ago, but have been struggling to eat all my food since my new roommate doesnt eat my food like Jordan used to.  Anyway, she ended up with a bunch of celery, fingerlings, spinach (to her dismay), garlic, and an onion and asked me, WTF am I going to do with this b#llsh!t?  So I gave her this little recipe, and she made it, and it was good, and she even made it more paleo than my initial suggestion, so she gets to be the first guest cook!  This is a good one too, since it really is two dishes in one.

Heavy Sage Meatballs

I left this kinda up in the air in terms of how to make them.  I suggested tons of fresh and ground sage (i.e. more than bunch per pound of ground pork), almond meal, egg yolks, salt and pepepr to taste.  You could use bread crumbs, or other filler to make them out.  I suggest 'setting' the meat balls in an over (400F for 15-20 minutes) prior to adding it to the soup, but it looks like Steph added them to the crock pot and just cooked them in place.  Either way, all good things.

HOTSMS

Take 4 minced gralic cloves, an onion, the top leaves of a bunch of celery and sweat in olive oil.  Add a pound+ of diced fingerling potatoes (original calls for cannellini beans), 4+ cups of water, 2 bay leaves, and salt and pepper to taste.  Then, when close to service, I would add a bunch of cut up dark greens like kale, collard greens, or mustard greens (spinach in a pinch too).

Citrusy Pork Shoulder

Bad Thai food inspired this dish.  I have two huge pork shoulders and I needed to have some pork with Thai flavors before I go back to work.  This is a super bold flavor, it has to be cooked long and slow.  It is a punch of citrus, backed with spice, and long lasting tartness.  So strong.

The Citrusy Pork Shoulder Rub
In a mortar and pestle, combine 1/2t of paprika, cayenne pepper, cumin, granulated garlic, nutmeg, ginger, and black pepper, 1t of salt, and oregano, and 1T of dehydrated onions.  Mash together.  Slowly add 3T of apple cider vinegar.  Add a touch of olive oil. 

Cover your pork shoulder with this, and rotisseriefor 2.55hr or, cover in foil and bake in coals or bake in oven, this is a strong dish.  Cover with green onions and lime juice.  It is fatty and delicious.

Red Cabbage Slaw

We may have found greatness with this one.  I would be lying if I didn't give a huge shout out to my ulcer ridden friend TDFPT for inspiring this dish.  His was pre-shredded cabbage (green, red with carrots), honey, apple cider vinegar, red bell pepper, salt, pepper, and organic BBQ sauce.  I write a Paleo blog, so I had to paleo this dish.

Red Cabbage Slaw
Take a very, very small head of red cabbage and shred.  Take one red bell pepper and Julianne.  Finely slice two scallions.  Coarsely chop cilantro.  Combine in a bowl, sprinkle with crushed red pepper, salt and fresh cracked pepper.  Cover with the juice of a whole, large orange, 4T of apple cider vinegar, and spicy olive oil.  Toss until well coated.  This is simply fantastic, and is a super strong base for greater dishes.

Greater Dishes
Add sauteed golden beets to this dish.  Add a horseradish component somehow.  Add goat cheese somehow.  Add all three and you will have a masterpiece.  I served this with a bomb pork shoulder with a lime-green onion garnish and it was out of control.

Addendum: Drew served his with a spicy sausage on a toasted kaiser roll.  It was delicious.

Orange Beef Curry

This is kinda neat.  This is just a standard red curry like I've posted here before, this time made with onions, Napa cabbage, beef, coconut milk, fish sauce, and carrots, so nothing too special, right?  Wrong. 

Oranges are cheap and delicious right now (<$0.50/lb) so I got a huge bag of them, and so you, the reader, gets some weird curried oranges.  I just quartered one and threw it (no squeezing) in when I was sauting the carrots and onion.  This gave a super subtle orange flavor at the back end of every bite.  And becuase of that, if you garnish with lime wedges (also cheap, like 6 for $1), you can have two seperate, distinct citrus flavors in one bite.  Very interesting.

Quick Paleo Beef Marinade

I was in a pinch before the Super Bowl, so I cut off a three pound piece of beef and covered it in the following rub/marinade an hour before kick off.  It is super delicious on super rare beef.

• 1t paprika
• 1t cayenne pepper
• 1t granulated garlic
• 3t dehydrated onion
• 1t salt
• 1t pepper

Mix together in a mortar and pestle.  Completely and heavily coat huge piece of beef.  Throw into gallon sized storage bag, add a couple T (three?) of apple cider vinegar, a few T of olive oil and a splash of water.  Rare cooking is off-heat in a 400-450 degree bbq (oven like) environment, medium rare is +30 minutes (and totally a waste of beef).

The Great Golden Beet Salad

Sorry I don't have a picture for this one, I honestly didn't think that I would get a post out of it, but I did, so here it is,

Golden Beat and Atrichoke Heart Salad
Take 4 or 5 golden beets, romove leaves, and clean.  Cut into bite size pieces.  Saute for 15-20 minutes in olive oil with lots of fresh cracked pepper.
Meanwhile, cut stems off of atrichokes, remove outer leaves and cut top off remaining leaves.  In a cup or two of Paleo Broth (celery salt, bay leaves, pepper), simmer/steam two whole artichokes (I eat them then save the hearts).

Cool both of those items.

Cut up a head of bib lettuce, throw it in a bowl with the cooled ingredients, cover with some lemon juice and my world famous Toasted Sesame Seed dressing. 

The CFO of my company tried this, and then came back 5 minutes later and ate my entire meal!