Monday, May 31, 2010

Also Maybe The Best Beef Ever

http://www.bestbeefever.com/ literally

Salt, fresh ground pepper, grill 6 minutes, 6 minutes. Cold center. MacGruber.
It literally makes me drool thinking about grass fed beef. It tells me a lot actually: people love good meat, it is normal, instinctual, rad.
I may have paid $6 for this steak + prep. It was a $55 steak. At least.

Asparagus Anchovy Soup

This one made me say "Wow" twice. It is, maybe, the best tasting thing I have ever made.

All right, you Paleo Gourmet Food loving mother effers, this one is an "All Timer". This is a signature dish on the first try. I might have to refine this and sell it to some restaurant. With that being said, I totally stole this idea from a now-defunked, bomb Santa Barbara restaurant called the Wine Cask. They weren't paleo (since they used half and half, creme fraiche) and they had caviar instead of anchovies, lemon creme fraiche instead of fresh lemon, zucchini instead of asparagus, and some other stuff different. I basically had something similar to this about 2 years ago and it was that memorable, and then I made it better, and this new version is amazing.
You have to do a little prep here. The prep:
Saute in about 3T of water for 8 minutes:
  • 1/2 of an onion
  • 1# of asparagus
  • 1T spicy olive oil

Then make Spicy Paleo Broth. Simmer:

  • 2c water
  • 3 bay leaves
  • 1t red pepper
  • 1t black pepper
  • 1/2t salt
  • 1t celery salt

Remove the bay leaves after 10 minutes or so.

Prep the anchovy thingy. Be careful with when you start this step. You want to crisp Saute:

  • 1/2t fresh ginger
  • 1/2t ground mustard
  • Black pepper
  • A couple of pinches of dried anchovy (picutred below)

These are actually rad
Saute for a little while. Add the anchovies last. Time this shit out too, dont start this too soon.

Okay, so what you want to do is take the cooked, still hot, asparagus and onion, add it to the blender, cover with paleo broth and blend for 90 seconds. Simmer again for 10+ minutes.

Okay, so now what you want to do is ladle a couple scoops into a bowl (small, portions must be small if you want this to rock people's worlds). Using tongs, carefully place 8 anchovies onto the soup. Drizzle a little ginger/anchovy oil. Squirt a little lemon juice on that shit.

Possibly the best ever. I couldn't even believe I came up with this. Wow (third time).

Lemon Mint and Thyme Vinegrette

Its a technical term

I'll detail this later. I just made something amazing I need to blog about.


Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Leeks and Asparagus

The key to this is the lemon

Smash a clove or garlic and saute with super spicy home made flavored olive oil (this was new, steeped for about five days, with organic olive oil, red peppers and ancho chilies), a sliced up leek, some salt, pepper. Add asparagus, steam covered for 4 minutes, stir, squeeze 1/4 of a lemon on it. Cover for another 3 minutes. Squeeze more lemon on it upon service.
I wasn't going to post this becuase of its simplicity, but it was turning noses in my office.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Formulaic Beef Cakes

Burgers with no buns are not burgers. Say it with me, Beef Cake! Beef Cake!
Gourmet burgers are one of the easiest things in the world to make. The biggest reason is the commonly accepted burger is of such low fucking quality its laughable. But seriously think about how shitty the last ten burgers you have had were? Were they all great/ memorable/ notable? Were a few/all of them fast food? In 'n Out and The Hamburger Habit are still fast food, guys. Generally shitty right?
Gourmet burgers are one of the easiest things in the world to make. Seriously, just add something to the general beef burger you are used to: avocado, something other than one slice of american cheese, some simple take on a veggie like mushrooms. Add some bizarre sauce, and if you can, add a gimmick and you are a fucking burger genius. If you are crazy, use something other than frozen CAFO beef.
Look at the alpha burger from In 'n Out. Formulaic. Freak veggie : grilled onions (easy) + Bizarre sauce : thousand island (easy) + gimmick : twice fresh meat and cheese (really?), unfrozen CAFO beef = Double Double "Animal" Style. Easy as pie right? Actually, maybe five times easier. Here is my Formulaic Beef Cake.
The Formulaic Beef Cake:
Gimmick: Onions two ways, grilled and fresh, mixed into the burger meat
Add Something: Green onions to the veggie bed the cakes sit on
Cheese: None. (Tricky, this one)
Bizarre Simple Veggie: Grilled Kale (blanched, smothered in red wine vinegar and seasoned)
Special Sauce: Tamarind in the grilled onion and celery leaves which are added to the beef
Other than frozen CAFO beef: Pasture Raised local ground beef (2#!)
Over reaching goal: lumps of meat that taste awesome with a paleo mindset and crab-cake like texture and awesomeness. I added an egg and almond meal: mission accomplished.
I personally think these are the best burge..... beef cakes I have ever made. What is stupid about writing an honest, reader non-supported, paleo blog is that the retrospect (while comedic) has somewhat diminished what I once though remarkable, but now seems childish. Thanks, pedantic brain!
Okay, so you now have the simple formula. Go make some Beef Cakes! Don't be a 90# weakling! Beef cake, beef cake!!

Saturday, May 15, 2010

1.40 Fran

OPT was right, this is unreal:



My best 10k is over 15 minutes slower than this guy. Holy shit, I've watched this a dozen times at least. This kid was competing in his first (high level) 10k. Sub 27? I dreamed of sub 48! I can barely remember going sub 43.

Sub 27? Game face.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Grilled Kale and Green Onions

Kale might be the absolute best vegetable for a CrossFitter: calorie for calorie it is easily the most anti-inflammitory edible thing I have found, it is super super basic, and it goes well with virtually any protien source, or when used in a recovery drink. There are probably more Kale recipes on Keep Your Fucking Chest Up dot com with nothing more than meat, than any other veggie, even spinach.

Sorry for no pictures, but do this: breifly steam some whole leaf kale (less than 4 minutes), drain. Place in bowl with a bunch of green onions. Toss with red wine vinegar, salt, and pepper. Grill till the tips of the kale leaves are brownish/black. It should leave you with a fairly crisp stem, burnt/crispy tips and a nice transition in between. Green onions should be crispy at the ends and fairly firm in the center.

Serve with meat.

Bonus factoid: it has a 2:1 n3:n6 ratio (Double bonus factoid: n= omega fatty acid)

Non-alcoholic Drinks: Cirtusy Mint and Cucumber Water

No booze? Weird.
The inspiration for this came from my dear friend Stephanie, who also has a sweet blender. The idea behind these non-alcoholic drinks (which is really just a euphemism for an alcoholic drink that is almost completed, i.e. just add alcohol), is that they should taste good, be refreshing, and leave you satisfied. I like these as an alternative to water, and as a way to add a couple of veggies and herbs to what you eat during the day.
Take two Persian cucumbers, a couple leaves of mint, the juice from quarter of a lime and lemon, and a small amount of lime rind (Steph likes to add ginger, I like to add lemon juice because it is more familiar) and then add close to 1/2 gallon of water (Steph likes sparkling water). Blend for about 30 seconds, and serve over ice.
I personally think white, non-spiced rum would be perfect to addition to this. Ben II, and Chris D II think that tequila would be better. But seriously, are you going to listen to them, or to someone who runs an unsuccessful Paleo site? That's what I thought.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Mirepoix

Its all in the ratio

Most cookbooks explain mirepoix like this: 1 part carrot, 1 part celery, 2 parts onion.  It is way easier to understand as 1 small onion, 1 celery stalk, 1 carrot.  Nature portions things out nicely without measuring cups.  As for mirepoix's usefulness?  Look it up, its pretty useful.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Team Competition WODs Revealed Early!

Its time to represent CFV

Event #1
On the grass outside the track – Crawford Field

 
A relay involving three stages. 
  • The first member of the team does a shuttle run to 10 yd, then 20 yd line/cones, then to 100m (If the ground is not touched with one hand completely beyond the line he/she will have to return and touch the ground completely past the cone/line.), to a set of 50# (m) or 30# (w) DB’s at the 100yd line. 
  • The first member does 30 DB Thrusters then runs back and touches the second athlete who starts the shuttle run to the DB’s. 
  • The first athlete then does 15 (m) or 10 (w) ring dips, sits down and is finished.  
  • The team continues with each returning member touching/starting the next member before the leading member does his or her ring dips to finish.  
  • The clock stops when the last team member finishes his/her dips (the last team member runs straight to the rings from the DB Thrusters, not to the start line).
Event #2
Held in the track/stadium.

 
Teams begin on the track in the start positions for a 400m relay race.
  • Each team member runs a 100m leg, passing one baton.
  • The final leg runner runs his 100m, then runs a full lap, picking up his team members as he goes.
  • Once all collected, the team completes another 400m lap from the original start point, together.
  • First team finishing the run gets the pick of the work areas along the side of the track in front of the bleachers. Then only two members at a time work, doing the following: 
  1. 250 One Arm DB Power Snatches – any member completes as many as they want with a 50 pound or 30 pound dumbbell. The leading edge of the DB touches the deck each rep, finish position is with the arm locked out overhead and the feet inside of 24” wide lines taped on the deck, each rep.
  2. 500 Double-Unders. When all reps are complete, the team runs together around the track in the same direction and lane they initially ran in, to a pull up bar complex where, one at a time, they complete a team total of 125 Pull-ups (chin over the bar). Their clock stops when the last pull up rep is done.
Try to guess which one I think we will dominate at?

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Party Aioli Revisited

After an evaluation period of a day, we have made it better

So, if you remember from the post before this one, you saw a great sauce for every thing: we put it on chicken, beef, bell peppers, carrots, celery, etc.  This is an improved version.  Here are the changes:
  • 1T red wine vinegar instead of 2T rice wine vinegar
  • 4 sprigs of dehydrated cilantro instead of 2 sprigs of fresh cilantro
  • 3 yolks instead of 4
Otherwise it was the same.  This evolution is a "No Stars, to Three Stars" better.  I think most people loved the first version (there is none left, hence the repeat the next day), I wonder if anyone would appreciate these changes?

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Party Aioli - Spicy Ginger Lemon Garlic Cilantro

I hope this as good on everything as I think it is.  This is designed for an unknown and unknowable party scene.  High chances of Paleo, though.

Oh, this was good!

Create this Aioli by combining the following in a blender:
  • 4 egg yolks (room temperature)
  • 2T rice wine vinegar
  • Juice of a 1/4 of a huge lemon
  • 2t dry ground mustard
  • A huge pinch of dried crushed red pepper
  • Salt and pepper to taste
Blend quickly at a x(max)^0.46 speed.  Add:
  • 2T Peeled ginger
  • 2 garlic cloves
  • 1/4 yellow onion
  • 2-4 sprigs cilantro
Emulsify with 1c extra light olive oil.

It was very well recieved.