Lemon Mint and Thyme Vinegrette

Its a technical term

I'll detail this later. I just made something amazing I need to blog about.

Leeks and Asparagus

The key to this is the lemon

Smash a clove or garlic and saute with super spicy home made flavored olive oil (this was new, steeped for about five days, with organic olive oil, red peppers and ancho chilies), a sliced up leek, some salt, pepper. Add asparagus, steam covered for 4 minutes, stir, squeeze 1/4 of a lemon on it. Cover for another 3 minutes. Squeeze more lemon on it upon service.

I wasn't going to post this becuase of its simplicity, but it was turning noses in my office.

Formulaic Beef Cakes

Burgers with no buns are not burgers. Say it with me, Beef Cake! Beef Cake!

Gourmet burgers are one of the easiest things in the world to make. The biggest reason is the commonly accepted burger is of such low fucking quality its laughable. But seriously think about how shitty the last ten burgers you have had were? Were they all great/ memorable/ notable? Were a few/all of them fast food? In 'n Out and The Hamburger Habit are still fast food, guys. Generally shitty right?

Gourmet burgers are one of the easiest things in the world to make. Seriously, just add something to the general beef burger you are used to: avocado, something other than one slice of american cheese, some simple take on a veggie like mushrooms. Add some bizarre sauce, and if you can, add a gimmick and you are a fucking burger genius. If you are crazy, use something other than frozen CAFO beef.

Look at the alpha burger from In 'n Out. Formulaic. Freak veggie : grilled onions (easy) + Bizarre sauce : thousand island (easy) + gimmick : twice fresh meat and cheese (really?), unfrozen CAFO beef = Double Double "Animal" Style. Easy as pie right? Actually, maybe five times easier. Here is my Formulaic Beef Cake.

The Formulaic Beef Cake:

Gimmick: Onions two ways, grilled and fresh, mixed into the burger meat

Add Something: Green onions to the veggie bed the cakes sit on

Cheese: None. (Tricky, this one)

Bizarre Simple Veggie: Grilled Kale (blanched, smothered in red wine vinegar and seasoned)

Special Sauce: Tamarind in the grilled onion and celery leaves which are added to the beef

Other than frozen CAFO beef: Pasture Raised local ground beef (2#!)

Over reaching goal: lumps of meat that taste awesome with a paleo mindset and crab-cake like texture and awesomeness. I added an egg and almond meal: mission accomplished.

I personally think these are the best burge..... beef cakes I have ever made. What is stupid about writing an honest, reader non-supported, paleo blog is that the retrospect (while comedic) has somewhat diminished what I once though remarkable, but now seems childish. Thanks, pedantic brain!

Okay, so you now have the simple formula. Go make some Beef Cakes! Don't be a 90# weakling! Beef cake, beef cake!!

1.40 Fran

OPT was right, this is unreal:



My best 10k is over 15 minutes slower than this guy. Holy shit, I've watched this a dozen times at least. This kid was competing in his first (high level) 10k. Sub 27? I dreamed of sub 48! I can barely remember going sub 43.

Sub 27? Game face.

Grilled Kale and Green Onions

Kale might be the absolute best vegetable for a CrossFitter: calorie for calorie it is easily the most anti-inflammitory edible thing I have found, it is super super basic, and it goes well with virtually any protien source, or when used in a recovery drink. There are probably more Kale recipes on Keep Your Fucking Chest Up dot com with nothing more than meat, than any other veggie, even spinach.

Sorry for no pictures, but do this: breifly steam some whole leaf kale (less than 4 minutes), drain. Place in bowl with a bunch of green onions. Toss with red wine vinegar, salt, and pepper. Grill till the tips of the kale leaves are brownish/black. It should leave you with a fairly crisp stem, burnt/crispy tips and a nice transition in between. Green onions should be crispy at the ends and fairly firm in the center.

Serve with meat.

Bonus factoid: it has a 2:1 n3:n6 ratio (Double bonus factoid: n= omega fatty acid)

Non-alcoholic Drinks: Cirtusy Mint and Cucumber Water

No booze? Weird.

The inspiration for this came from my dear friend Stephanie, who also has a sweet blender. The idea behind these non-alcoholic drinks (which is really just a euphemism for an alcoholic drink that is almost completed, i.e. just add alcohol), is that they should taste good, be refreshing, and leave you satisfied. I like these as an alternative to water, and as a way to add a couple of veggies and herbs to what you eat during the day.

Take two Persian cucumbers, a couple leaves of mint, the juice from quarter of a lime and lemon, and a small amount of lime rind (Steph likes to add ginger, I like to add lemon juice because it is more familiar) and then add close to 1/2 gallon of water (Steph likes sparkling water). Blend for about 30 seconds, and serve over ice.

I personally think white, non-spiced rum would be perfect to addition to this. Ben II, and Chris D II think that tequila would be better. But seriously, are you going to listen to them, or to someone who runs an unsuccessful Paleo site? That's what I thought.

Mirepoix

Its all in the ratio

Most cookbooks explain mirepoix like this: 1 part carrot, 1 part celery, 2 parts onion.  It is way easier to understand as 1 small onion, 1 celery stalk, 1 carrot.  Nature portions things out nicely without measuring cups.  As for mirepoix's usefulness?  Look it up, its pretty useful.

Team Competition WODs Revealed Early!

Its time to represent CFV

Event #1
On the grass outside the track – Crawford Field

 

A relay involving three stages. 

• The first member of the team does a shuttle run to 10 yd, then 20 yd line/cones, then to 100m (If the ground is not touched with one hand completely beyond the line he/she will have to return and touch the ground completely past the cone/line.), to a set of 50# (m) or 30# (w) DB’s at the 100yd line. 
• The first member does 30 DB Thrusters then runs back and touches the second athlete who starts the shuttle run to the DB’s. 
• The first athlete then does 15 (m) or 10 (w) ring dips, sits down and is finished.  
• The team continues with each returning member touching/starting the next member before the leading member does his or her ring dips to finish.  
• The clock stops when the last team member finishes his/her dips (the last team member runs straight to the rings from the DB Thrusters, not to the start line).

Event #2
Held in the track/stadium.

 

Teams begin on the track in the start positions for a 400m relay race.

• Each team member runs a 100m leg, passing one baton.
• The final leg runner runs his 100m, then runs a full lap, picking up his team members as he goes.
• Once all collected, the team completes another 400m lap from the original start point, together.
• First team finishing the run gets the pick of the work areas along the side of the track in front of the bleachers. Then only two members at a time work, doing the following: 

1. 250 One Arm DB Power Snatches – any member completes as many as they want with a 50 pound or 30 pound dumbbell. The leading edge of the DB touches the deck each rep, finish position is with the arm locked out overhead and the feet inside of 24” wide lines taped on the deck, each rep.
2. 500 Double-Unders. When all reps are complete, the team runs together around the track in the same direction and lane they initially ran in, to a pull up bar complex where, one at a time, they complete a team total of 125 Pull-ups (chin over the bar). Their clock stops when the last pull up rep is done.

Try to guess which one I think we will dominate at?

Party Aioli Revisited

After an evaluation period of a day, we have made it better

So, if you remember from the post before this one, you saw a great sauce for every thing: we put it on chicken, beef, bell peppers, carrots, celery, etc.  This is an improved version.  Here are the changes:

• 1T red wine vinegar instead of 2T rice wine vinegar
• 4 sprigs of dehydrated cilantro instead of 2 sprigs of fresh cilantro
• 3 yolks instead of 4

Otherwise it was the same.  This evolution is a "No Stars, to Three Stars" better.  I think most people loved the first version (there is none left, hence the repeat the next day), I wonder if anyone would appreciate these changes?

Party Aioli - Spicy Ginger Lemon Garlic Cilantro

I hope this as good on everything as I think it is.  This is designed for an unknown and unknowable party scene.  High chances of Paleo, though.

Oh, this was good!

Create this Aioli by combining the following in a blender:

• 4 egg yolks (room temperature)
• 2T rice wine vinegar
• Juice of a 1/4 of a huge lemon
• 2t dry ground mustard
• A huge pinch of dried crushed red pepper
• Salt and pepper to taste

Blend quickly at a x(max)^0.46 speed.  Add:

• 2T Peeled ginger
• 2 garlic cloves
• 1/4 yellow onion
• 2-4 sprigs cilantro

Emulsify with 1c extra light olive oil.

It was very well recieved.

Spicy Mussels in White "Wine"

Thats the second bottle of wine opened, I needed close to three cups for all these suckas

Mussels in Spicy White Wine

Take an entire head of garlic and coarsely mince.  Mince two jalapeno peppers with seeds.  Mince 1/2 of an onion.  Saute on very low for 10 minutes in, seriously, like 6-8+ T of extra light olive oil.*  Grind lots of pepper into the mix, and add 5 huge pinches of salt (yes we are going to over compensate for something here).  After ten plus minutes of super low simmering, slowly add in 3+ cups of white wine (I use the Two Buck Chuck Chardonnay).  This means: pour in 1/2 a cup, bring to simmer, etc.  Once all wine is bubbling, crank the heat up to medium high and cover.  Boil hard for 5 minutes. 

Meanwhile, clean and de-beard/shave 6+ pounds of mussels.  I can't say this enough: buy fresh fresh fresh mussels.  Mine weren't that fresh, but they were still alive.  This turns out to be quite gross since mussels are very much like you and I: eat, sleep, reproduce.  The thing is that we forget what else fills the gaps in between eat and sleep: poop.  So anyway, buy em fresh and eat them before they have a chance to digest anything.  Fill in your own blanks here.

Anyway, throw those puppies into the mix and bring back to a fast steaming flow.  It took almost 6 minutes for mine to do this.  Then cook them for 3+ minutes, covered.  Stir and baste, and finish for three more minutes.  Garnish with minced parsley. 

Enlist roommate to help eat three pounds of this stuff.  I will say that having 3 pounds of shellfish to eat is great since when you go out to eat you normally get 1p.  And! I think 6+p at home cost less than 2p at a restaurant. 

That is a ton of shell fish.

* Extra light olive oil is one of my new experiments in culinary musings.  The trouble with extra virgin, full flavored, olive oils is that they are full flavored!  That flavor kinda sucks when you try to swap out the fairly flavorless, but succulently delicious, animal fats.  These would be found in milks, butters, meats, etc.  Think about what fat tastes like?  What words do you use to describe it?  Rich?  I would say rich or creamy (which incidentally means that I associate high fat foods with cream, and have created a false causality scenario in my mind).  I would never say "Like fresh green olive pressings."  So since extra light olive oil can be added to almost anything (including my veggie drinks) and is fairly flavorless but imparts that wonderful "rich" taste to whatever I put it on, it is proving to be an awesome addition to the kitchen.  Seriously awesome.

Carrot and Banana Frozen Dessert

I have a real problem calling this iced cream, but it was bomb

Another great use of the blender here.  Add 3-4 frozen bananas, 3 carrots, and a cup of heavy coconut cream to the blender and blend (add ice if you have any, I had like 3 cubes).  I put in a lot of protien powder too.  After blending, I froze this and then scooped it out.  This is easily the fisrt paloe/almost paleo dessert that I would give to a girl to impress her.  Its not as creamy as iced cream, but just absolutely delicious.

Non-Corn Fed Chicken

Love that jalapeno and cilantro mayo

Nothing much here, just reporting on the chicken itself (this was just a little Pappy's on the grill).  It taste like chicken, its a little smaller than normal chickens.  It reminds me of the chickens I was buying when I was living in Italy.  It was good enough, that I would probably switch to these higher quality birds if I had access to them all the time.

Shrimp, Jalapeno, and Olives

Deveining shrimp is great because the shrimp always look more delicious

This one freaked me out so much, that I actually got the ingredients out and then put them back because I was sure it was way to bizarre to be good.  I then, second guessed my second guess and went full speed ahead.

Mince smash 7 cloves of garlic and add to a lot of olive oil, ground pepper, and a T of freshly minced ginger root.  Saute on low for a long time.  Cut the tops off of three jalapenos and remove center seeds.  Cut all jalapenos into rings, and add to pot with one thinly sliced onion.  Add a can of drained whole medium black olives.  Season with salt and pepper.  Add a can of tomato sauce and bring to bubbling.  After deveining about 30 fairly large shrimp (like 1.33 pounds), toss those in and cook for about 6 minutes, covered.  Adjust pepper and eat.

This was way better than going to a restaurant because it was just a ton of shrimp with delicious sauce.  Jalapeno, olive, ginger with onions and shrimp?  Whatever works...

Regionals Update: Hotel

Westin in Costa Mesa

FIY,

Kat, Lieb and I will be staying here:

http://www.starwoodhotels.com/westin/property/overview/index.html?propertyID=1002

It is a seemingly dope Westin Hotel with a fairly legit pool/spa area, a resuarant, breakfast, and a bar (Kat and I both thought that was an important selling point).  It wasn't the cheapest option out there, but with all the easy benefits I believe it was worth it.  I booked 2 queens if anyone wants to double up and save some cash.

Its a couple miles away from UCI (looks like about 2-3), but totally looks like the drive is worth it.

Let me know...

Adjust

Its hard to tell from this picutre, but these little flowers by my house: open in the morning, close in the evening, and track the sun through out the day

I went through a physical assessment with CJ today and it was extremely enlightening.  I do not want to say too much about it, as it was clearly an extremely complex (and I can tell, extremely useful) exercise in athlete evaluation (while still in the beta test mode).  You see, profiling and trends are a real part of the science of anything.  If I can measure X and Y in every top athlete, and measure Z and AA in every one who sucks, maybe I can learn something from X and Y, and Z and AA. 

That is all scientific and well and good and yada yada yada.  But the beauty is that by specifically identifying imbalance, deficiency, over compensation, it will allow for a certain amount of corrective action.  A little supplementation.  We can expose weakness and adjust.

In psychology, adjustment means the behavioural process of balancing conflicting needs, or needs against obstacles in the environment. Humans and animals regularly do this, for example, when they are stimulated by their physiological state to seek food, they eat (if possible) to reduce their hunger and thus adjust to the hunger stimulus. Adjustment disorder occurs when there is an inability to make a normal adjustment to some need or stress in the environment.

Please read more at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adjust

Sardines in Tomato Sauce

Bait made delicious

I personally think the saltier the fish, the more delicious it is.  Sardines are kinda salty, but I gave these 21 sardines a good salt rub down anyway.  Also, why is there such a stigma against bait fish?  These pups are chalked full of good stuff, and they're delicious.

Okay, so the only thing I do not like about sardines is eating their guts, which makes me want to gag, becuase that means you are for sure eating something in the stages of shit formation, up to and including shit.  So, I just ran these guys under a steady stream of water, busted through their chest with my thumbs and pulled out the guts.  Then, I covered them with salt and fresh cracked pepper (kinda a lot of salt) and grilled them for about 6 minutes per side so they were crispy. 

The sauce I made was a bastard tomato sauce, with mexican flavors, to mimic the mexican canned sardines in town.  I took a whole pasilla pepper, jalapeno, 4 garlic cloves, 1 stalk of celery, one (lamentable) can of tomato sauce (I should have had four tomatoes on hand), and 2t cayenne pepper with some olive oil and threw that into the blender and blended.  I heated it up on the stove for as long as the sardines cooked.

Cover and garnish with cilantro.  I really enjoy this, chances are you would throw it up over the balcony after a shot of Sailor Jerry's.

V. 3 of 3. Paleo Hot Wing Style Cornish Hens

This is the final cornish hen recipe of the three.  This was fun.

So, we finally come to the end of the cornish hen road.  This is simple and delicious: cut the birds in half and coat in delicious Pappy's Choice rub.  Grill to perfection, and then toss with home made hot wing sauce (previously posted) and a very small amount of fish sauce.  The fish sauce is a fermented sauce and steps in for my traditional usage of soy sauce (which we now do not use becuase of the soy).  This tastes like my world famous red chicken, and that was what I was going for, and it is great to achieve it paleo style!

Hot Wing Sauce

The Rorschach inkblot test of paleo cooking: what do you see?

One of the beautiful things about the new blender is that I can make virtually anything now, and here is some more proof.  I took about 10 red jalapenos, cut the tops off, and 12oz of plain vinegar, and blended those suckas for a little bit.  I took an amount of cheese cloth and folded it over 4 times and poured the mixture through it to remove the solids.  And that is it, your own home made hot wing sauce, and it took less than 5 minutes to make.

Jalapeno and Cilantro Mayo

I made this to eat with artichokes after my guy Mitch said he loved artichokes

Simple: three room temperature egg yolks, 3/2t ground mustard, juice of a lemon, 1 green jalapeno (seeds, no stem), three of four sprigs of cilantro, a little salt and pepper, a cup of extra light olive oil, blended to perfection.  It was addictive as a dip for the 'chokes.